saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love you. Go after that dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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