The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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