he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
