Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
