just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
