the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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