Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, beer. Big fan.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
