Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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