His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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