He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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