I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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