God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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