Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
