we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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