My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
