We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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