the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
