She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
