i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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