we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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