If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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