Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
