as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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