Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
