I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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