We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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