are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize