Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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