ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
