I wish I only lived at night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
