It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
