dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you had me at cake vodka
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
