I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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