Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
