She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize