Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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