boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
