she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
