You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize