I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you didnt know i had herpes?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
