Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
pop tarts are not kleenex
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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