I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
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