no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize