As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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