ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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