my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
