Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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