I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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