forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Congratulations! We have a period
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