I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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