I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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