Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
