I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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