You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
