The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
