cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
