Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
