I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I could fuck to npr.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize