There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
