my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
