1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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