My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
