it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize