Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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