Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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