Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
