Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
